CONSTANT VIGILANCE

REFLECTIONS ON ANGER, LOVE, AND JUSTICE.

"Let men see, let them know, a man who lives as he was meant to live." - Marcus Aurelius
May 21
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“Word of God”

It really annoys me when someone makes the claim that the Bible is the exact,  inerrant word of God, while maintaining that people have misinterpreted it over the ages.

Forgive me, but could you say the same for the Stoic or Buddhist teachings?  Could anything that the Stoics or Buddhists believe ever be misinterpreted such that the people who profess to be Stoics and Buddhists actually begin to live in opposition to what was intended?

No. 

I’m supposed to believe that the inerrant dictates of the prime mover himself could be misinterpreted in any way, shape, or form?  

How is this not a ridiculous assertion?

May 11
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Commentary on the Recent Election in North Carolina

I have contemplated for two days now precisely how I want to begin what I have to say on this matter, and I’m still at a loss.  All I know is that I’m about to say some truly terrible things about certain people, and I mean every word of it.  I have tried to forgive; I have tried to think of ways to say what I want to say in a merciful way; I have tried to calm the savage and primal beast which seeks to lash out at all who would do those I love harm.  These options are insufficient.  

The following is the closest thing I can do to exact revenge on the people who, through ignorance and stupidity, are destroying things dear to me.  You may think me crass or indecent, but my moral code does not require me to turn the other cheek; mine demands that I defend the innocent and punish the wicked. 

ON THE PASSING OF AMENDMENT ONE

———————————————————-

My attack on those who voted for Amendment One will be on multiple fronts: (1) on conservatism and the meaning of political freedom, (2) on the meaning of religious freedom, (3) on its negative consequences and ignorance, and finally (4) on the institution of marriage.  I know that the chances of such people reading this is slim, so this is really for the people who feel as outraged as I do.  

1. On Conservatism and the Meaning of Political Freedom

There is a particularly nasty contradiction that exists in the mentality of those who identify on the right, and it is this: they claim to support less government intervention in individuals’ lives yet they continually support policies that do exactly that.  The three instances of this which immediately come to mind is the Republican party’s stance on abortion, drugs, and (most relevant of all) gay marriage.  

They don’t want you to engage in drug use because they don’t think you should.  They don’t want you having abortions because they don’t think it’s moral.  They don’t want you to marry someone of the same sex because it’s against their traditions.  

Well, I think the most obvious response is as follows: Fuck what they think.  

The government exists  primarily to protect the rights of the citizenry; none of the aforementioned activities violate the rights of other sentient beings (prima facie), and therefore they ought to be left to the individual choices of individual members.  Only insofar as rights are being violated should the government have any involvement whatsoever.  Should we make lying a criminal offense?  How about adultery?  I think we can all agree that lying and adultery are not moral activities (prima facie).  There are plenty of shitty things that human beings do to one another that we don’t think the legal system ought to be involved in; why should any of these be any different?  

Why do I bring this up?  Because political freedom is what made us great, and it’s what separated us from the vast number of tyrannical political systems that exist the world over at any given time.  And political freedom can only obtain if and only if the citizens under a particular regime are allowed to live their lives in a manner that they see fit.  That means that for any political system to rightly claim the label of “free and open” society, its citizens must have the ability to exercise their autonomy and individuality to live according to whatever rules they wish, insofar as they don’t trample on the rights of others.  It is a performative contradiction to state that “freedom” simply means the ability to do what any established authority (whether that be prevalent opinion of the day or a major voting bloc) says is permissible.  The same can be said for equality; granting equality means allowing all people - regardless of skin color, sexual orientation, belief systems, etc. - to engage in precisely the same endeavors, should they wish to do so.

Moreover, the rights of individuals should never be left to majority vote, because it is so often the case that a majority will trample on the rights of the minority.  This is why it is so crucial not to see one another as members of particular groups, but as individual human-fucking-beings.  The smallest minority is the individual; there should never be a question of whether any group is denied its rights, but whether any individual is denied his or her rights at any given time.

It is this that you stupid assholes don’t seem to understand.  You bitch and moan all day at my store about how Obama needs to be ousted because he’s shitting on the 4th Amendment (which is a valid criticism) so that he can be replaced by someone who will violate individual freedom and choice in other areas.  And now you have accomplished the very same thing by voting for Amendment One when two consenting adults weaving their lives together is none of your fucking business.  

It doesn’t matter whether you think a marriage ought to be between a man and a woman; your opinion on this matter is really wholly irrelevant.  What you ought to be concerned with is whether defining it as such would constitute a rights violation on somebody’s part.  You don’t have to condone drug use to hold that people ought to make the decision for themselves; likewise with multitudes of other behaviors.  

 2. On Religious Freedom

Now it might be that some of you are thinking that the obvious counter to my position is that you are entitled to your opinions and your values, and that it is entirely permissible for you to use them to determine how you ought to vote.

You are only partially correct in this.

You are certainly entitled to your beliefs and your values.  But you are only partially correct about how they might be used when making political decisions that affect others.  If you want to believe that you personally speak to a telepathic father who has ordained that “love” means kneeling before Him, then you are completely entitled to that.  What you may NOT do, however, is use those values and beliefs to deprive an entire group of people of their legal rights.  It’s that fucking simple.  You cannot legitimize infringing upon rights and limiting the freedom of others in the name of religious freedom.  Period.  No one is allowed to do that.  We do not live in a fucking theocracy.  If you don’t want to respect the autonomy and rights of other people, then you really should consider living somewhere else.  

A quick word on “living Biblically”, even though the Bible, in truth, is no friend to freedom*:

(Note: Go ahead. Try and challenge me on the above statement. I fucking dare you. It would give me great pleasure to watch you fail.)

Tell me, who did Jesus hang out with?  Was he hanging out with the established authority of the day?  Did he spend most of his time with the people who were doing well for themselves?  

Or did he spend his time with sinners, with the downtrodden, with the numerous forms of rejects from society?  

Tell me, WWJD…

Additionally, we might also consider whether we should start executing people for not being virgins until married.  Maybe we should start executing people who cheat on their spouses.  Maybe we should start executing people for working on Sundays.  

Your cherrypicking makes me sick…Jesus might have been an alright guy, but your book sucks as a moral guide and your God is kind of an asshole.  It’s this kind of shit that makes me wish sometimes that more of you were fed to lions.  

3. On Negative Consequences and Ignorance

It’s really quite amazing how much you fucking people didn’t read about how this amendment could affect loads of other straight people.  I can’t even begin to list them, and you know what?  

I’m not going to.

Know why?

Because you need to take responsibility and be informed. You need to look this shit up. Not me.  Your willingness to allow yourself to remain so ignorant about these matters revolts me.  How you don’t see the similarities between you and the apes who came before you, I have no idea.  What I do know is that  I’m done putting in the effort to try and snap you out of your ignorance.  

You will reap what you sew in the end.  

And believe me, there is a major shit-storm coming…more on that later.

4. On the Institution of Marriage

This is probably the worst thing of all about everything that you have to argue.  

You state that marriage can only exist between one man and one woman - but this clearly shows a lack of any understanding whatsoever about the nature and origin of marriage.  

Marriage has been around since before recorded history, and has existed in many different forms.  It became necessary when people needed to keep track of who’s offspring were who’s.  It was adopted by quite a few cultures (Mesopotamia, Egypt, Ancient Greece, etc.) and its purpose was to bind women to men so that certain men would have a definite source of offspring.  It was also useful in cementing alliances with other nations.  It had absolutely nothing to do with religion or love.  Through marriage, a woman essentially became a man’s property.  Moreover, for the better part of human history, marriages were arranged; you didn’t have a choice in who you were going to marry, and, if you were a woman, you had no control over how you would be treated afterwards.  

Marriage developed as an institution, as a means, to streamline transfers of property. 

God forbid you do a little bit of reading outside your supposed holy text…

Afterword

I know why you are the way you are. I know why you fight these battles, scrambling to defend against such measures.  I know about that little voice in the back of your mind which scares the living hell out of you; the voice barely more than a whisper that keeps telling you that - no matter how hard you try, no matter the outcome now - you are destined to fail.  The one that you try to drown out with the sermons of your pastors and endlessly repeating ignorant mantras with which you try to calm yourself, to reassure you that everything is going to be alright.  

But you know better.  

And I know better.

You know in your heart that your entire worldview and all who take is seriously will eventually be cast out, and that MYgeneration will take control in a way that is going to change everything - because we are utterly unlike you in every conceivable way.  And we are so fucking thankful that this is the case.  How blessed we are that your atrocious way of seeing things will die with you.  

I say good riddance.  

It is here where I would like to offer words of reassurance to anyone who, for the most part, agrees with me.

We are on the winning side. 

How do I know this?

Because, assuming that our democratic institutions aren’t utterly destroyed or undermined over the next four years (more on that later), the Millenial Generation will become the largest age-based voting bloc in the US; we will make up about a third of the electorate.  

The Republican voting base is aging (not soon enough IMO), and without new blood they are going to lose tons of votes.  

It is also the case that our generation is decidedly more “libertarian” when it comes to social issues in that we don’t care so much whether people get abortions, do drugs, or marry someone of the same sex.  Here is where Republicans are also fucking up big time - for the vast majority of us don’t share their views on social issues, and yet that’s pretty much all they seem to want to discuss.  Fun fact: Roughly 50% of Millenials identify with the left, whereas only about 36% identify with the right.  Hmmm, I wonder why…

The inevitable result of all this, what some might call a “generational shift”, is that social conservative platform will ultimately be phased out.  Without being sympathetic to our political views, the Republicans simply can’t win elections on the scale they need to wield true political power.  Electoral victory for the right will become a thing of the past.

That is…unless they take Ron Paul seriously.

_____________________________________

This concludes the first half of my rage-induced tirade.  

In the second half I shall address the refusal of the right to vote for Ron Paul, and why it is utterly crucial that we get him into the White House.  I still have harsh words for those who chose an incredibly ambiguous candidate, as well as those who ignore what Obama has done with respect to civil liberties and choose instead to love his personality…because god forbid we don’t assail those who do wrong regardless of party affiliation.  

May 06
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Motivation

Motivation

Apr 23
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ME3

Every time I get the urge to replay ME3, I remember the ending and the urge is destroyed.

Apr 22
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Observation:

I find it odd that the same people who made fun of me for liking geeky stuff when I was younger are now ridiculously enthusiastic for some of the very same things. 

Could it have been possible that the level of excitement for movies like The Avengers or The Hobbit would have been relatively the same 10-15 years ago? Absolutely not. Utterly impossible. 

Am I glad that more people enjoy these things? Sure - but I do feel a slight resentment as well, and I don’t know whether such feelings are justified or not.

Apr 13
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You want a physicist to speak at your funeral. You want the physicist to talk to your grieving family about the conservation of energy, so they will understand that your energy has not died. You want the physicist to remind your sobbing mother about the first law of thermodynamics; that no energy gets created in the universe, and none is destroyed. You want your mother to know that all your energy, every vibration, every Btu of heat, every wave of every particle that was her beloved child remains with her in this world. You want the physicist to tell your weeping father that amid energies of the cosmos, you gave as good as you got.

And at one point you’d hope that the physicist would step down from the pulpit and walk to your brokenhearted spouse there in the pew and tell him that all the photons that ever bounced off your face, all the particles whose paths were interrupted by your smile, by the touch of your hair, hundreds of trillions of particles, have raced off like children, their ways forever changed by you. And as your widow rocks in the arms of a loving family, may the physicist let her know that all the photons that bounced from you were gathered in the particle detectors that are her eyes, that those photons created within her constellations of electromagnetically charged neurons whose energy will go on forever.

And the physicist will remind the congregation of how much of all our energy is given off as heat. There may be a few fanning themselves with their programs as he says it. And he will tell them that the warmth that flowed through you in life is still here, still part of all that we are, even as we who mourn continue the heat of our own lives.

And you’ll want the physicist to explain to those who loved you that they need not have faith; indeed, they should not have faith. Let them know that they can measure, that scientists have measured precisely the conservation of energy and found it accurate, verifiable and consistent across space and time. You can hope your family will examine the evidence and satisfy themselves that the science is sound and that they’ll be comforted to know your energy’s still around. According to the law of the conservation of energy, not a bit of you is gone; you’re just less orderly. Amen.

— Aaron Freeman “You Want A Physicist To Speak at your Funeral (via enflurane)

(Source: lonelyheartsdeathmetal, via rubato)

Apr 12
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Pretty much.

Pretty much.

(Source: awesomephilia, via thefuuuucomics)

Apr 06
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Concerning all acts of initiative (and creation), there is one elementary truth, the ignorance of which kills countless ideas and splendid plans: that the moment one definitely commits oneself, then Providence moves too. All sorts of things occur to help one that would never otherwise have occurred. A whole stream of events issues from the decision, raising in one’s favor all manner of unforeseen incidents and meetings and material assistance, which no man could have dreamed would have come his way. Whatever you can do, or dream you can do, begin it. Boldness has genius, power, and magic in it. Begin it now.
— William Hutchinson Murray
Apr 05
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Jillian Murray - the woman Liara T’Soni is modeled after.
I think Zooey has some competition.

Jillian Murray - the woman Liara T’Soni is modeled after.

I think Zooey has some competition.

Mar 28
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Pretty much what I said and more. I don’t think I’ve ever been so goddamn disappointed with an ending to a series I loved before. 

Mar 25
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whakahekeheke:

I gave each actual libertarian a matching straw counterpart. It’s pretty sweet.
Slowed-down version here.

Awesome.

whakahekeheke:

I gave each actual libertarian a matching straw counterpart. It’s pretty sweet.

Slowed-down version here.

Awesome.

Mar 23
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List

There has been a number of unfortunate circumstances which have obtained as of late, and I feel the need to clear the air and get them out in the open. This will serve a number of functions, the most important of which are as follows: (1) it will allow others to understand precisely what I’m going through right now, and help them understand my actions; (2) it will allow me to remember precisely what has gone on, as they are becoming far to numerous to recall at any given time, and, hopefully, gain something out of it at a later date. 

Note: This is list is a work in progress, and is by no means comprehensive. This is just the worst of it.

  • I have been effectively shut out from grad school at this juncture. While I am still waiting to hear back from UT @ Austin, I have been rejected from every other school to which I have applied; the exception is the U. of Chicago which has offered me admission to their MAPH program. Whether this is an acceptable stepping stone to a Ph.D later on is unclear; I will effectively double my current debt without having enhanced my job prospects in a substantial way should I choose this path. Not going to grad school means that I have wasted a great deal of effort and money towards something that never panned out. In any case, my passion has been torn from me.
  • My laptop is busted. This would not normally be a big deal if I had backed up a great deal of work that is held on it - but since I was foolish enough not to do so, I stand to lose a substantial amount of work, including all of the materials I gathered to apply to grad school.
  • I still remain at Harris Teeter and living at home with my parents; I do not believe I need to elaborate on this point.
  • I rear-ended someone. The damage was not severe in the slightest, but my insurance payment is going to increase because of it. Additionally, I was given a $238 ticket because I was “going faster than I should have been.” I have never heard of someone getting a ticket for something of this nature.

To put it succinctly, I am just very unhappy with the current state of affairs. I have become demoralized and dejected in virtue of the losses I have sustained. I try to remind myself that it could always be worse, that I am still fortunate to be where I am, but none of it helps. I think this is the case because I feel like my aspiration, my objective, has been abruptly taken away from me - as if I have been denied the one thing I know I was born to do. Normally I would simply double my efforts, and refuse to find myself thwarted; as defeated as I have been in the past, I never allowed myself to be conquered. I feel quite different now. As much as those around me try to comfort me by telling me that I was born to do great things, I find myself feeling as if nothing I do is really worth anything. I have never felt this degree of hopelessness and despair before, and this leads to yet another problem. I am also experiencing a severe degree of intense self-loathing because I am not living up to the standards I have established for myself; I am failing myself in almost every dimension which I have regarded as important. Moreover, I find myself refraining from engaging with people in much the same way as I used to - specifically, I do not go out much or attempt to see good friends when possible. My inclination to remove myself from social happens is very strong at this point, and so please forgive me for that.

I do not regard my tribulations as trivial and that I am simply overreacting or being a whiny bitch about such things; I think anyone in my shoes would feel very much the same. It is my hope that others will now have some context for my withdrawal from many of the social activities and whatnot that I normally engage in.

Mar 15
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Story of my life.

Story of my life.

(Source: toptumbles, via thefuuuucomics)

Mar 10
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Lyric

“Take my hand, and take my whole life too.”

Such a beautiful line.

Mar 02
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The Last Month

The entirety of the last month or so can be summed up like this: I’ve been a bad Stoic - more-so than usual anyways…